how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
