i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
