our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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