It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
