I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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