im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
