My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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