just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
