singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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