Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
