He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
