You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
one two three fourrrrnication!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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