it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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