Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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