I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
