i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
