Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
