Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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