Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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