My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
