Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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