69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
