these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
