It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize