I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
