It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
