Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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