Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
