Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
