Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
