EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
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