Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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