I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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