if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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