So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
