you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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