I forgot how hot balto sounded
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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