His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
