it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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