absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
