Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
