I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what day is it and did you see me today?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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