What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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