I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
