Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
