I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
