When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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