my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
