Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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