How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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