DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
