I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
