I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
