Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
