i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i've created a new STD.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize