you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
