Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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