Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
