I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have demons in me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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