i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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