No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
