Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
