Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
