worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
