these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
